I was surprised that Pastor called me and begged me to work at CFL Idi – Ishin as their Accountant….. you might be surprised who I was

My name is Collins Ajidara I had worked in ZOCA Church Amuloko. I was married to Halima and we had 2 kids. One day I came home in South Africa and I saw a note that she had left with the kids. When I was trying to comprehend what happened, I heard through a friend that our store was destroyed in the Xenophobia Attacks. Even, I escaped being lynched by whiskers. When I got to the bank, I discovered that the only cash remaining in the account was only sufficient to return back to Nigeria because she had almost wiped all the money in the account. And when I got back to Nigeria, I decided to maintain a low key doing some odd consulting jobs to maintain myself. But I was very happy that I could get a job after five months of returning.

I met with the former Accountant of CFL i.e. Bro. Mike Olatunji. He handed over his report to me and gave me a low down on who to relate with and who to avoid. I also advised him to try and be careful in Minna because of the full implementation of Sharia over there.

I was asked to stay with one of the church members but I declined. I decided to stay at the apartment where Mike was staying – at least half Agege bread is better than puff – puff. On the day he was leaving, a woman came into the office to see him

Mike: hello Chinyere

Mrs. Adedokun: Mike, how are you?

I saw that the two of them hugged each other oblivious of me sitting and he kissed her

Me: I go love ooo.

They quickly disengaged from each other. And Mike introduced her to me

Mike: Mr. Ajidara, I want you to meet Mrs. Adedokun

Me: it is a pleasure meeting you ma’am.

Mrs. Adedokun: the pleasure is all mine sir.

I excused them for some minutes and went to sit at the reception.
After 30 minutes, Mike came into the reception

Mike: Mr. Ajidara, the Senior Pastor wants to see you in his office.

I went to the SP office to see him. When I was through in his office I went to my office and I saw Mike seeing off Mrs. Adedokun. When I entered the office, I perceive the stench of sex in the room. I took the air freshener and sprayed it in the office. When Mike returned, I sat him down

Me: Mike I discovered that you just had sex with that woman and not only that but IN THE OFFICE

Mike: (grinning) Sure boss.

Me: Hmmm. As I have told you earlier, be very careful most especially in Minna.

Mike: I will

Me: (lowered my voice) do you think you can be doing gra – gra for me??? you are seeing a Professor Emeritus in bleepocolysis and suckinology

Mike: Baba oooo

Me: so all these gra – gra wey you dey do no meet me for house.

We both laughed. On Sunday Mike was called and was prayed for. Immediately after the service I was in the office, then a lady came in

Stranger: Please I want to see the Accountant

Me: I am the Accountant. Please who are you?

Stranger: no… it is Mike I want to see

Me: I am sorry; Mike has been transferred to Minna.


Me: perfectly sure ma’am

Stranger: ah….. Mike left me without saying goodbye
Me: were you not in the service?

Stranger: I am just coming from Badagry.

Me: eeyah. I am sorry for that.

Stranger: well my name is Mercy

Me: my name is Mr. Ajidara

Mercy: I was the former cleaner

As she mentioned cleaner, I remembered IyoAye!!!

Me: ok….

Mercy: I wanted to see him urgently. I tried calling his line but it was switched off. Please can you give me his number?

Me: I am sorry I cant give it out. Instead, give me yours and I will sure forward it to him.

She gave me her number but I refused to give her mine. I promised her that I will forward it to Mike and she left. As soon as she left, Mrs. Adedokun came into my office

Mrs. Adedokun: Mr. Collins Ajidara, how are you today?

Me: I am fine.

Mrs. Adedokun: and how was the service?

Me: splendid

Mrs. Adedokun: I was surprised when you declined my offer for giving you accommodation

Me: emi o gbodo je ounje ajeku – I can’t eat leftover food (in my mind) as I said earlier, I will be using Mike’s apartment.

Mrs. Adedokun: where is your family?

Me: they are fine

Mrs. Adedokun: were they in the service today?

Me: they are in South Africa.

Mrs. Adedokun: and what are they doing there?

Me: Ma’am it is personal.

Mrs. Adedokun: ok Accountant. I have heard you….. well, I am about to leave (she drops her card) I will be checking on you some other time.

Me: ok ma. I really appreciate your coming. (she left)

I started thinking……
what does she want from me???
What is she up to???

When I got to the park at Ojoo, I saw crowds at the garage. I enquired of where I could get a bus going to Minna. Finally I got to the bus and booked a correct space in the bus. Later I discovered that it is only three passengers it will be carrying since a woman will be conveying Educational Materials such as School Chalks, Blackboard Renovator, Exercise books and other materials. Though she and her daughter were the ones accompanying the goods. After negotiations and loading, we were set for the trip. The woman sat in front of the Sienna Bus and I sat with her daughter at the back with one SU sister. When the bus was about to take off, Mrs. Adedokun call came to my phone

Me: hello sugar pie

Mrs. Adedokun: sugar boy howdy?

Me: we are about leaving the park now.

Mrs. Adedokun: how I wished to fcuk you now

Me: you can come now. At least we’ll do a quickie………..

As I mentioned the word “quickie” the two ladies looked at me in an awkward way.

Mrs. Adedokun: (purred) don’t make me hor*y pleeeeaasseee

Me: can we chat?

Mrs. Adedokun: sure. (call ends)

We started chatting and I was oblivious about my environment. We graduated our chat to s3x chat and we chatted until the battery of my phone gave way. The driver was playing music from the car stereo and was talking with the woman. With the exception of when FRSC stopped us at Egbeda before we entered Ogbomosho. Even there we moved after 5 minutes. I begged the driver to allow me charge my phone when the daughter of the woman spoke up

Daughter: Naughty boy………………

Me: Me??? Naughty??? I am too gentle to hurt even mosquito.

Daughter: (spoke to my ears) I was reading your chats and I was seriously wet and damn hor*y.

Me: Hmmm. How I’d wish your guy is here

Daughter: you are not serious. I am Kafeelat

Me: what a nice name; my name is Mike.

Kafeelat: it is nice meeting you Mike. So where are you up to?

Me: I am going to Minna. I was transferred from our office in Ibadan to resume in Minna.

Kafeelat: I am an NCE holder from College of Education Minna and I am processing my Degree programme.

Me: it is nice meeting you

I observed that the other sister just bone face and she held a book that she was reading.

Kafeelat mum: hope that bros is taking good care of you there?

Kafeelat: yes mum; he is.

We discussed on various topics in Education, Sports, Politics and celebrities. When got to the topic of religion, the other sister that was pretending to be reading faced me

Sister: Bro. Mike, you are not qualified to talk about Christianity.
Me: how?

Sister: you claim to be a Christian but you are using vulgar language with that person you spoke with some hours ago….

She went on and on. I wanted to reply her but Kafeelat pleading eyes restrained me. When we got to Mokwa, the driver said he wants to eat and pray. So we parked in front of one of the food canteen there and we went inside. The driver, Kafeelat and her mum, went to the mosque to pray while the SU sister and I sat in the canteen to eat. After a while her phone rang. But the way she talked on the phone and her facial remark, I discovered that she was angry and disappointed. When Kafeelat finished her prayers, she came to where I sat and covered my eyes.

Kafeelat: guess who covered your eyes

Me: it is the one and only Kaffie that I know except if there is another one.

She sat beside me and ordered food for the two of us

Me: (protesting) please don’t bother about me. I don’t usually eat during long journeys.

Kaffie: you have to take this. Or are you afraid of the bill? I eat a lot o.

Me: (after a while) well, you win……………

Kaffie is a lady in her mid – twenties, has a perfect pointed nose, and she was 5’10” tall. Her skin glowed like the carton of Dell© Projector and had a beautiful set of teeth. The food was packaged and was brought to us. She paid the bill for the food and I thanked her profusely. The other sister was eyeing us seriously and was squeezing her face. After the driver and Kaffie’s mum ate finished, we resumed our journey. When we got to Enagi, there was a serious traffic snarl and gridlock. We later heard that three trailers and one tanker had a very serious accident and the tanker was loaded with unadulterated Ethyl Alcohol. We got down and we waited by the side of the road. Other men there were making passes to Kaffie but she stood by me. After a few minutes she was feeling pressed and told me to escort her to the bush. I jokingly told her to take the SU sister along with her since it is haram for me to accompany her. She pulled me along with her and we went to an enclosed bush. I turned my back to her so that she will be able to do her thing. What she said threw me off – guard

Kaffie: Mike, do you like this?

When I turned, what I saw……………

I tried running away from her but she pulled me to herself and we started kissing each other. She took my hands to her Milk Factory and I was squeezing it. As I wanted to bring out the Milk Factory, her mum called her and we quickly run to the car. We discovered that the village has given small cars access to pass through their community to link up with the major road. When we got to the car, the SU sister beckoned on me

SU Sister: Mike can I ask you a question?

Me: sure; you can go ahead

SU Sister: if someone you are meeting for the first time sends you transport fare and told you to come to a place; only for the person to now tell you later when he already knows you are coming that you should turn back?

Me: I will be angry. But I will let the person know that I am almost at his place and there is no turning back. But, my sister, what happened?

SU Sister: don’t mind me. I am Christiana

Me: My name is……

SU Sister: Mike. I know you are Mike.

Me: hmmm.

SU Sister: I don’t like associating myself with unbelievers that’s why I did not talk with you guys.

Me: no wahala.

Christiana: so is this your 1st time of going to Minna?

Me: yes ma’am.

The driver beckoned unto us and we boarded the vehicle. I now observed that Kaffie pushed me into the middle seat while Christie and Kaffie sat at the doors. We continued our journey. When I checked my phone I saw several whatsapp messages from Blessing and Mrs. Adedokun. By the time we got to Bida, it was already 7pm in the night. After a brief stop for prayers, we continued our journey. When we were at FUT Minna main gate, Kaffie and I exchanged numbers and she promised to call me. Christie was also free with me and the three of us discussed a lot. Politics, Business, Money and most especially women. The two faced me and they were talking on how men are beast…… bla, bla, bla. We got to Minna around 8.45pm and what shocked me most was that when Christie and I dropped, Kaffie gave me a kiss and promised to call me later in the day. Christie called the person she was going to meet only for her to realize that the man’s wife picked the call and blasted her on the phone. I decided that instead of her to be stranded, she should follow me to the guest house where I will put up for the night. I made enquiries about some guest houses in town and as I got some places I decided to flag down a bike that will take the two of us there. When the bike man came, I boarded but saw Christie standing by

Me: Christie, where will you now stay?

Christie: Mike I don’t want to bother you. I will look for a church where they will be doing all – night and join them. In the morning I will go to see my sister in Abuja before heading back to Ibadan.

Me: you are funny sha. Do you think this place is Ibadan where churches do all – night? Abeg, enter bike

She hesitated for a while but later she agreed to join me. We got to a guest house at Paiko Road (behind Fadama “Farm Centre”) where we later disembarked from the bike and after paying him, we entered.

We booked for a room and I told the receptionist that she is my cousin and we both came to Minna for a programme. After being given a room, we entered

Christie: I will sleep on the chair

Me: for what Chris?

Christie: you paid for the room, so you will be the one to use the bed
I went to the bed, took a pillow and went to the chair. Then, I jumped on the chair and rested my head on the pillow.

Me: if you succeed in pulling me out of the chair to the bed, then fine; if not, you will sleep on the bed.

Christie: e se pupo (thank you very much)

Me: na you sabi. I am very hungry.

Then I realized that I forgot my bag inside the car!!!

The day was very hectic for me because we were preparing for a meeting which will come up the following day. The time I had chance to rest was around 5.30pm when the Senior Pastor was about going home. When I got home I received a call

Me: hello

Stranger: hello Collins

Me: Who is this on the line?

Stranger: my name is Ndidi

Me: good evening Ndidi. How may I help you and how did you get my number?

Ndidi: I saw your contact on Dating and Hook – ups Zone thread on Nairaland and I decided to call you.

Me: (relaxes) ok. how are you Ndidi?

Ndidi: I am fine. But where are you Collins

Me: I am in Ibadan

Ndidi: I am in Abeokuta.

We talked for a while and I promised to call her when I get home.

When I got home, I saw the wife of Mike’s neighbour coming from their room.

Neighbour: good evening. Who do you seek after?
Me: I live in this house

Neighbour: we’ve been living in this house for the past three years and I have not seen your face before.

Me: well, I am staying in Mike’s apartment.

Neighbour: I say so. I haven’t been seeing Mike for the past few days

Me: he has been moved to our church branch in Minna.

Neighbour: eeyah. So you are the one that came to replace Mike here in Ibadan.

Me: yes.

We talked for some minutes and we parted…………

When I discovered that my bag was missing, a call came into my phone. And when I checked it, I saw it was Kaffie

Kaffie: if you can forget your bag in the car like this, I wonder if………

Me: I am sorry Kaffie. I just realize that I forgot to carry my bag.

Kaffie: should I bring the bag for you now?

Me: don’t bother dear. I will come and pick it up very early tomorrow morning.

Kaffie: I feel like kissing you………

Me: don’t worry. Let me shower; we’ll chat later

Kaffie: ok dear (blew me a kiss)


When the call ends, I faced Christie

Me: I wanna shower.
As I was about going to the shower, Christie said something that shocked me

Christie: Mike I wished you were as old as I am or older than i.

I laughed at her and went to the bathroom to shower. When I returned, I saw Christie already lying down on the bed. Her a$$ was really drawing me as a magnet but I had to control myself. I called the reception to order for food and when it was brought I collected it and locked the door.

Me: Christie, let’s eat together

She came to join me and we ate the food together in silence. After eating, she thanked me and went to the bed to lie down. I lay on the chair and logged on whatsapp. I saw thirty messages from 5 contacts and I started opening them. I saw three from Kolade, seven from a Nairaland group I joined, two messages from Blessing, fifteen messages from Mrs. Adedokun and the rest from an unknown number. I quickly replied Kolade, ignored the group, replied Blessing and Mrs. Adedokun and when I opened the one from the unknown number, I discover that it was from Kaffie. She sent some funny pictures and I saw her totally unclad in those pictures. I was really engrossed in the chats when I felt a touch on my shoulder.

Christie: I can’t sleep o.

Me: why

Christie: please can you come and join me on the bed?

Me: (opportunity re o) will you be comfortable with it?

Christie: yes

I went to join her on the bed. But as soon as I lay down I received a call from Senior Pastor

SP: O ga fun e. you left since morning and you didn’t call.

Me: e ma binu sir. My airtime got exhausted since morning and I haven’t been able to recharge.

SP: ok. hope you got to Minna today

Me: yes sir.

SP: were you able to locate the Pastor – in – charge?

Me: I got to Minna around 9:15pm

SP: JESUS!!! Since morning

Me: yes sir.

SP: so where are you presently?

Me: I put up in a guest house sir.

SP: with the little money that you had……..

Me: Daddy don’t worry sir. They didn’t charge more than N4,500/night and it is just only this night sir.

SP: Ok Mike. Ensure you call me first thing tomorrow morning.

Me: Ok sir.

SP: Goodnight. (call ends)

I put the phone on silent and lay down. Then I opened NairalandTM and where I was reading Adebimpe the Facebook Girl. All this while, Christie backed me. She begged me to dim the light and I obliged. I didn’t know when I slept off. By 1.30am when I woke up, I realised that Christie wasn’t beside me on the bed. I was about standing up when I heard the sound of toilet flush and I quickly pretended as if I was sleeping. I saw Christie coming into the room. when she got to the bedside she removed her night gown and was stark UNCLAD. She woke me up

Christie: Mike I am hor*y…… PLEASE FCUK MEEEE

I was shocked because this was a lady 12 hours ago pretending to be an SU sister begging me to fcuk her. She knelt at the bedside and we started kissing each other. She expertly removed my singlet and trousers remaining my knickers. Then I went to devour her b^^bs (A vivid description of Christie……… she is of average height, fair, moderate b^^bs (medium C – shape) and a$$. But when she was UNCLAD, she had a flat tummy) she went to my nippl3s was sucking one and twerking the other, I was lost in ecstasy and when I came to reality was when I felt her hand on my cvck. When she brought it out she gasped

Christie: is this a cvck or a drilling tool? This is MASSIVE.

I smiled and kept silent. She was giving me hand job while using her other finger to pleasure herself. I distracted myself by thinking of the rhetoric of Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon. I was brought out of the reverie by feeling a warm sensation over my cvck. She swallowed the entire cvck and was mouth – bleeping it. Even at these, she was still using her finger to pleasure herself. I stood up, carried her to the chair, she knelt on the chair and her a$$ backing me. I wanted to enter her that was when I realise that I had no condom.

Me: Christie, we can’t do it. There is no CeeDee.

She went to the drawer and took out a packet of condom. She tore it and inserted it on my cvck. Then I entered her from the back. I realized that her cvnt was hot and seriously wet. When I entered her, a moan escaped from her mouth. I fvckked her in that position for some minutes and had to change position. I sat on the chair and she came to sit facing me and guided my cvck into her cvnt. She was rubbing my head while I was squeezing her b^^bs and sucking it simultaneously. She later became restless as she was moaning loud. She made a long shout and went quiet. I later felt liquid trickling down to my balls. After a minute I carried her to the floor, used the pillows to support her a$$ carried one of her legs, supported her leg with my shoulder and entered her. I fvckked her like a car that has no brake going for a free fall. All she was saying is uuuuuusssshhhhh………… where have you beeeeeeeeeeeeen…………………………I wan die ooooo………………… I must marry youuuuuu… ashhhhhhhhhh………. mmmmmmm……….yessssssssss before long, I felt her veejay walls tightened and she had another powerful heavenly feeling. Then I increased the tempo and I still fvckked her. Not so long after, I cummed into her and crashed beside her and we both slept off.

I couldn’t sleep that night because my Opa – Mose was rock hard but there was no cvnt to sexvice. I tried logging in to 2go to check who I could flirt with but all the girls there didn’t respond to all my chats.

The following morning as I was rushing to the bathroom I saw my neighbours’ wife coming out of the bathroom. I greeted her casually

Me: Good morning ma.

Neighbour’s Wife: good morning. Hope you slept well

Me: I slept soundly like a baby

Neighbour’s wife: that’s good. I hope you saw my husband before he left this morning.

Me: no ma.

Neighbour’s wife: ok. what will you like to eat for breakfast?

Me: ah!!!!

Neighbour’s wife: don’t be surprised. I always prepare food for Mike when he was still around.

Me: (relaxes) ok ma. Anything goes ma.

Neighbour’s wife: ok.

I entered the bathroom and took my bath. When I was through, I saw my neighbour’s wife dishing food into a warmer and putting spicy delicacy in it. After preparing for work, her daughter (of about six years old) brought the food to me. I appreciated it and took the food along with me to the office.

When I got to the office, I met them already concluding in the devotion. The Senior Pastor called me

SP: Accountant, why are you just coming?

Me: (looking at the clock) sir I didn’t know that time has gone fast like that. My wrist watch gave me a wrong time sir.

SP: ok. please don’t be late again.

Me: ok sir.

I went to the office and the cleaner came to clean the place

Cleaner: good morning Accountant

Me: good morning. How are you
Cleaner: I am fine.

She cleaned my office and I appreciated her.

I woke up around 7am and I met Christie already prepared. I stood up sluggishly and went to the shower to prepare. When I was coming from the bathroom I saw her a$$ and my cvck was turgid and hard. I sneaked to her back and tickled her. She was trying to resist but when she felt my cvck in her back, she turned and suck it hungrily for some minutes. After a while she gave me a hand job until I cummed. Then I went to shower the second time. I quickly prepared and we went to the reception together, settle our bills and left the guest house. As soon as we left the place

Christie: Mike when are we seeing again?

Me: you know I am no longer in Ibadan and you are not here. Until when I am married, you can call me anytime you want to come.

Christie: Mike, I want to ask a favour from you

Me: go ahead.

Christie: please don’t share my cvck with Kaffie……… or with any other girl

Me: hmmm. I don’t know o.

Christie: why Mike?

Me: if not for what happened between me and my ex, you wouldn’t have stood a chance.

Christie: what happened?

Me: it is not a story for today.

Christie: ok

I called Kaffie to know where to meet her. I quickly escorted Christie to the park to board a cab going to Abuja. Then I strolled down to Mr. Biggs opposite CBN Quarters waiting for her. After waiting for about 10 minutes, I saw a Venza coming towards my direction. The car stopped and the windscreen went down. I was stunned because Kaffie was the one driving the car

Kaffie: Mike, how are you?

Me: I am fine.

Kaffie: why are you looking like Christmas chicken? Come inside the car.

I entered the car and I was amazed!

Kaffie: where are you going?

Me: I am going to the church where I am to report to

We asked for directions and she drove me there. When we got there, she parked the car and came down from the car and took my bag. Everyone in the church premises was surprised.

Kaffie: when you are through, call me.

Me: I will. (she drove off)

I went inside the church building and I asked for the Pastor – In – Charge. I was directed to meet the Secretary in the office. When I got there, I met with the secretary introduced myself and asked for the pastor. i was ushered into the Church and as I entered, I discovered it was my former Maths Teacher!

Pastor Kolawole: Mike Olatunji the genius

Me: Daddy, good morning sir.

PIC: bawo ni?

Me: I am fine sir.

PIC: we were all worried yesterday that you didn’t call and that your number wasn’t going through.

Me: I am sorry sir. there was an accident at Enagi and we waited for over 2 hours before we were able to continue the journey. We got to Minna by 9.15pm yesterday night.

PIC: all the same, you are welcome. So where did you sleep yesterday night?

Me: I slept in a guest house.

PIC: so you don’t have where you will stay

Me: no sir.

PIC: well, I have discussed it with a church member. She had agreed that you will be staying in their other flat free.

Me: thank you sir.

PIC: but there are conditions

Me: I am listening sir

PIC: Number 1 – No visitor especially female folks is welcomed; Number – 2 the gate is being locked by 10pm; Number 3 – you are forbidden to cook with electric stove.

Me: ah!!! Jesu!!!

PIC: is there any problem Mike?

Me: the Number 3 is the main issue. I don’t cook with stove and my gas cooker has been disposed of before I left Ibadan.

PIC: I will discuss with the woman.

Me: Thank you sir.

He called the Secretary to take me to my office. When I got there,
I called Christie. She picked up after the 3rd ring

Christie: What’s up Mike?

Me: I am good.

Christie: just got to Abuja.

Me: thank God.

Christie: but sorry where do you work?

Me: Centre of Faith and Liberty (CFL)

Christie: so you work in a Church?

Me: yes or is it bad? (call ends) hello? Hello?? Hello???

Barely her call ended when Kaffie call came in

Me: baby girl what’s up?

Kaffie: I am good. Tis just that I am lonely and bored.

Me: eeyah.

Kaffie: can you come?

Me: nope. Till closing time.

Kaffie: ok. gimme a call by then

When I finished receiving her call, I saw a lady standing at the door. She is averagely tall, had this “killer hips” and the b^^bs are “out of the world”. She greeted me

Sister: good morning Accountant

Me: goo……. Goo………… good morning ma’am

Sister: (smiles) you are welcome to Minna.

Me: thank you sister. Kindly sit down

My cvck was erect like a wireless microphone.

Me: how may I help you?

Sister: hope PIC have discussed with you about the accommodation?

Me: (shocked) so you are the one ma?

Sister: yes

Me: yes he did ma. But………

Sister: but what?

Me: he said that you don’t allow electric stove to be used in the house.

Sister: yes.

Me: but ma, I don’t use Kerosene stove. And for my Gas cooker, I had given it to the person that took over from me in Ibadan.

Sister: ok. I will give you till month ending when you will be able to get your cooker.

Me: ok ma. Thank you.

Sister: can you come and see the place now?

I quickly briefed PIC and he allowed me to go. When I got to the estate, I saw the familiar Venza that Kaffie used to pick me up in the morning parked in the compound. The sister went ahead and shows me my apartment. As I was about leaving the compound, I saw Kaffie and her mum, leaving their apartment. When Kaffie mum saw me she was surprised.

Kaffie Mum: se kii nse okunrin ti a jo wo moto lana ni yii?

Kaffie came out and saw me

Kaffie: oun ni ma. (turning to me) what are you doing here?

Me: this was where an apartment has been reserved for me

Sister: Kafeelat, se o mo Mike ri ni?

Kaffie: beeni ma. A jo wo moto lana lati Ibadan. Oun ni o gbagbe
bagi re sinu oko ti mo lo gbe fun laaro yii.

Kaffie Mum: Anti Pey – Pey, se e mo Mike ri ni?

Sister: rara o. Pasito wa lo so wipe ki n mu wa si’le. E mo wipe mo so fun yin pe enikan mbo lati Ibadan ti o ma sise ni Soosi wa.

Kaffie Mum: looto ni o. (facing me) Mike you are welcome

I was surprised because I couldn’t believe that she could speak good and perfect English. I was about answering her when my mum called me

Mummy: Bolaji bawo ni?

Me: mo wa pa. e kaaro ma

Mummy: bawo ni journey e?

Me: alaafia. Mo de si Minna laale ana

Mummy: it is well. Se o ti wa ri’le?

I didn’t hear her well so I put the phone on speaker

Me: won ti mu mi wa si’le ti ma ma gbe ni Minna.

Mummy: o ga o. ore mi kan tie wa ni Minna. Sugbon o ti ju odun metadinlogbon ti a ti ri’ra

Me: o ga o. se e mo oruko won?

Mummy: mo kan mo oruko re k’o to marry. Her name is Khadijat Aderopo sugbon mo ma n pe ni Khadi-Slim ni UI.

As soon as Kaffie Mum heard that name she asked

Kaffie Mum: that voice is familiar. It sounds like Grace Oladejo’s own

When I heard that name I turned to her

Me: Oruko mumcee ni yen……… Mummy o da bi eni’pe enikan mo yin nibi.

Mummy: je ki n ba eni naa soro

I handed the phone to her

Kaffie Mum: hello

Mummy: hello ma. E kaaro ma.

Kaffie Mum: s’e Mummy Mike niyen?

Mummy: beeni ma. But, se Khadi-Slim ni mo n ba soro? The voice sounds familiar

Kaffie Mum: se Gracolysis ni yen?

Mummy: Khadi????????? After 27 years???

Kaffie Mum: Roomie mi to sure………

Mummy: How did you know Bolaji?

Kaffie Mum: is he the one called Mike?

Mummy: sure. Ohun ni.

Kaffie Mum: Hmmmm. That’s good. Bawo ni gbogbo ile?

Mummy: we are all fine my lovely sister. I am happy that we reconnected back after this while.

Kaffie Mum: Alhamdullilahi. I will collect your contact from Bolaji.

Mummy: ok bestie mi. I will be expecting your call

She handed over the phone to me

Mummy: how did you meet her?

Me: we met by divine providence in Ibadan yesterday.

Mummy: anyway, just called you to say hi. My regards to everyone. K’o si s’omo jeje.

Me: I will ma.

Mummy: ok love; take care. Bye (call ends).

After the call Kaffie mum and the Sister spoke in Nupe for some minutes while Kaffie was looking at me and was laughing.

Kaffie Mum: Bolaji, I have decided not to collect any money for house rent from you. However, you will pay for Energy, security and sanitation monthly.

Me: (prostrated) Thank you ma. E ma worry, Maa sanjo

Everyone laughed at me.

The day was uneventful because I was very busy in the office. Later in the day, the Senior Pastor called me that the meeting has been postponed. When I was trying to relax, the receptionist came and informed me that someone wanted to see me. When she entered, I ushered her to sit down

Stranger: good day sir

Me: good day and how may I help you?

Stranger: please I am asking for the Accountant

Me: that’s who you are talking to

Stranger: I mean Mike

Me: ok…… Mike has been transferred.

Stranger: ok sir. My name is Helen and I am the Account Officer for the Church.

Me: ooo. Thank God I was about asking who has been the Account Officer for the Church.

Helen: I just came to see Mike. I had been out of Ibadan for more than a month; so as I returned I decided to check on the church.

Me: how was it possible? I mean how were you able to maintain the Church Accounts? ……. never mind everything is online.

Helen: yes sir.

Me: so what help can I render to you?

Helen: I want to plead that the Accounts of the Church should not be moved.

Me: I can’t assure you that Helen. Because, of what I have been seeing. I did the reconciliation of the accounts and I saw some major lapses in the accounts. I had wanted to contact your bank to have a meeting.

Helen: so, thank God I came.



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